Living a Lie
by jotchLIFE
Summary: Fifteen years. JJ and Reid have been in love with each other for nearly fifteen years. Will they ever get the chance to be more than just friends? *SPOILERS for s15
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey guys! I've been thinking about this story for awhile (since the s14 finale) and I am finally getting around to writing it. It will revolve mostly around s15 and the characters' personal lives. I will TRY to update weekly. Please let me know what you think.**

She said it.

The secret was out. JJ was as shocked as Reid… well, almost. Of all the times she had imagined saying those words, this was not one of them.

Now, standing outside, Reid getting his hand bandaged, JJ wished she could take it back. All she could picture was the look on Reid's face after her confession. He looked almost broken. She wanted to talk to him, but that wasn't an option with their team, and the other officers, standing around. Even if she did get the chance, JJ wouldn't know what to say. She almost laughed at that thought… no idea what to say to _Spence._

"You okay?"

The sound of Rossi's voice pulled JJ out of her head. "Yeah, I'm fine." She couldn't help but steal a glance at Reid.

Truthfully, Reid knew that JJ kept looking at him, but he really couldn't meet her eyes right now. If he did, she would be able to read him like an open book.

All Reid wanted was to tell JJ that he reciprocated the feeling, but it wasn't near that simple. First off, he didn't even now If she meant it. He wished with all of his heart that she did, but he honestly didn't know. Spencer Reid was one of the best profilers the bureau had ever seen, but in that moment, he couldn't even tell if his best friend was bluffing for the sake of an unsub.

Even if JJ did mean it, what could that possibly mean for them?

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The team wrapped up the case and flew back to DC as soon as they could, but by then it was already the next morning.

JJ took her time driving home. She knew Will would be at work, and the boys would be at school. She really just needed time to think. Obviously she couldn't talk to Reid on the plane, they barely even looked at each other, and then Reid had left as soon as they got to the BAU. JJ didn't know whether to be upset or relieved by that.

The truth was, JJ had wanted to tell Reid how she felt at the beginning of her BAU career, but the timing was so wrong. She was scared… and then so many things happened to them and the team. Then she met Will, and had Henry… and Michael, later on. JJ really did love her husband, but she always had this small voice in the back of her mind, saying that she only stayed with him because of the kids. She didn't want Henry and Michael to grow up in a broken home.

JJ sighed. _When did everything become so complicated?_ At least she had the rest of the day off. Maybe she could get her thoughts in order before she had to face Reid again. That would be tomorrow at Rossi's wedding… but before that, she had to face Will, and she didn't know how to do that right now. She felt guilty.

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Reid went home to his silent apartment, not able to keep his mind off of his blonde coworker. He had always loved her… ever since his first year at the BAU, but everything happened with Tobias Hankel, and the dilaudid. By the time Reid had finally gotten himself straightened out, JJ had already met Will.

After that, Reid knew he had lost his chance. So he put everything he had into being JJ's friend, and then the boys' godfather. He did a good job pushing aside his true feelings for her. It had worked… until her confession. Whether JJ meant her confession or not, it brought back all of Reid's feelings… that, if he was being honest with himself, never truly went away.

Spencer knew he shouldn't be in love with his best friend, with his coworker, but he truly couldn't help it. JJ was the best person he knew. She's beautiful… and not just in physical appearance, but in soul and personality as well.

Trying to clear his head, Reid stretched out on his couch with a book he knew from memory. He would give anything to go back and change it all.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hey everyone! Thank you for checking out chapter one and coming back for two. Please let me know what you think, and if you have any ideas as to where this story should go. This chapter is kind of short, but I will try to make the next one longer. Thanks and hope you enjoy!**

JJ couldn't keep her mind off of Reid. He had saved her life… and she couldn't help but think, that in the process, she had turned both of theirs upside down.

JJ knew, without a shadow of a doubt, they would have died in that store if Spence hadn't broken his restraints. She wanted to thank him. She wanted to call him, but she knew that the conversation they needed to have, would have to be done in person.

"Mom!" Henry came running down the stairs.

JJ had picked her boys up from school a couple of hours ago… something she was only able to do because of Reid. Tears filled her eyes at that thought, but she quickly blinked them away and turned to her son. "Yeah buddy?"

"I'm hungry. When can we eat?"

JJ laughed. "You're always hungry. I'm going to start dinner in a few minutes. Did you finish your homework?"

"Um…"

The blonde gave her son a pointed look. "Go finish please. Dinner should be ready by then." She smirked when Henry huffed and ran back up the stairs. Her boys never ceased to brighten her day.

Moments later, when she was working on the spaghetti, JJ heard the front door open… Will was home. She knew she should be happy about that, but as of lately, it seemed like all they did was fight. Sure, they never had the easiest marriage, but the past year had been really bad. They both constantly felt like they were walking on eggshells around each other, never knowing if what they just said would spark another argument… and Will blamed it all on JJ's job.

"Well you did make it home."

JJ spun around and saw Will standing in the doorway. "Um… of course. What did you think, I would stay in LA?"

"Seems like you're always finding a reason to stay away from home." Will spoke with an accusatory tone.

Scoffing, JJ turned back to the stove. Clearly, tonight wasn't going to be any different. "Seriously Will? You walked in two minutes ago, and you're already starting on this?"

"I'm gonna go see the boys." Will simply walked out of the room.

JJ sighed and shook her head. '_Here we go again'. _

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The family of four had dinner together, JJ and Will remained civil for the kids, but they both knew there was a conversation to be had.

After Henry and Michael were in bed, JJ joined Will in the living room. "Are we going to talk about this?"

Will sat staring at the television. "It depends JJ, are you going to stick around long enough to talk?"

The agent looked disbelievingly at her husband. "Seriously? I am sitting here, ready to have an actual conversation with you. Is this how it's going to be the whole time?"

Will sighed. "I guess not, or we won't get anywhere… so… talk."

"Will, this past year has been bad. You know it just as well as I do. We've never fought like this before. It's more frequent, more aggressive than ever before."

"Well, how do you think it makes me feel that you're gone all the time?"

JJ took a deep breath. "There it is. You blame everything on my job. I know you've hated it ever since before we got married, but are you honestly going to say that it is the only reason for all of our problems?"

When Will spoke again, his voice was more elevated. "You are never home! You'd rather be away than spend time with me and the boys. _We_ are your family JJ."

"Yes you are my family. I love you and the boys. I don't like to be away from you guys, but I love my job too. It, and everything else I do is for this family."

Will scoffed. "Yeah right. Are you saying that going out of town every week is beneficial to me and the kids?!" At this point, he was up pacing the floor.

JJ cut her eyes to the stairs. "Keep your voice down. I'm saying my job takes sacrifice, but I do it because I am trying o make this world a better place for our children."

Will rolled his eyes. "Oh there you go with that. You can't save the world JJ."

"You have absolutely no respect for my job, and now I'm seeing you don't have any for me either. We can't go on like this, Will. How long do you think this marriage will last if we do?"

"Probably not long, if you have your way about it."

JJ tried desperately to keep her temper in check. "Are you hearing yourself right now? Do you blame all of our problems on me? Because from where I'm standing, we've both played a part in this marriage going sideways."

Will didn't respond. For the second time that night, he left the room without a second glance towards his wife.

JJ sighed deeply. If this marriage was going to work, some major changes would have to take place… but being totally honest with herself, she wasn't sure if she wanted it to work anymore.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hey guys! I was hoping to post this a few days ago, but I haven't had as much time to work on it as I wanted. I am not crazy about this chapter, but in my opinion, the ones to follow will be a lot better. Thanks for sticking with me!**

JJ ended up sleeping, if you could call it sleeping, in the guest room after her and Will's fight. She thought that if she went to their room, she would end up saying something she shouldn't. She tossed and turned most of the night. There were so many things running through her mind… she wanted to scream.

First, there was the problem with her marriage… which was nothing new. She loved Will, she really did, but she couldn't help but think that she married him out of fear. She almost lost him during that bank robbery, and that really scared her. Then Rossi threw the surprise wedding. That was a really sweet gesture, and JJ truly appreciated it, but she probably would have backed out if it wasn't for that. A big part of her really believed she was still married to Will because she didn't want to hurt the kids… but she didn't think she could go on like this anymore. It was so emotionally draining on both herself and Will… and she knew that could eventually have a bad impact on Henry and Michael.

Then her thoughts drifted to Spence. She knew they needed to talk, but she didn't know what to say. Was she supposed to tell her best friend that she was truly in love with him?

When JJ said those words to Reid, she really meant them. She knew Casey would kill Reid if she didn't tell the truth. She couldn't risk bluffing, and thinking she was going to die, she wanted Reid to know how she felt. She didn't have time to think about the impact this would cause.

Now, things were complicated between JJ and her best friend, and she didn't know how to fix it.

That was pretty much how JJ's night went. Her guilt and confliction wouldn't let her get much sleep. When she got up the next morning, she let out a sigh of relief knowing it was Saturday. She didn't have to work, and the kids didn't have school. JJ was looking forward to spending the day with them.

When JJ got downstairs, Will was pouring coffee into a travel mug, and getting ready to leave for work. He paused when he heard her come in. "Morning JJ. I've got to go, but I'll be back in time for the wedding."

"Um, okay. Be safe."

Will nodded and walked out the door.

JJ was glad the fight wasn't brought up, although she knew it would have to be at some point. Other than them being a little more distant, it could pretty much be classified as a normal morning between the two.

The blonde shook her head and started on breakfast, knowing Henry and Michael would be up soon. She wasn't the best cook, but she loved making breakfast for her boys.

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JJ spent the day with Henry and Michael, watching movies and playing soccer in the backyard. She would cherish any time she got with them, even if it was watching 'Toy Story'.

That evening, JJ started getting ready for Rossi's wedding. She was finishing her makeup when Will came upstairs.

"JJ, I'm sorry."

JJ stopped putting on her mascara and looked at Will through the mirror. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. I shouldn't have walked away from you last night, and I shouldn't have raised my voice either."

"I appreciate that. I'm sorry too." JJ turned to face her husband. "We have the same fight every time, and it always ends the same way."

Will hung his head a little. "I know. I'll do better, I promise. When we get back from the wedding, we can sit down and have an adult conversation. No yelling, no walking out." He walked over to his wife and kissed her.

JJ smiled. "Okay, deal. Now let's get ready. Kate will be here soon to watch the boys."

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JJ was nervous when they arrived at the wedding venue. She had made up her mind to talk to Reid whenever she got the chance, but she didn't want to push him. So, she would take her cues from him.

When they walked in, JJ and Will were immediately surrounded by some of the team. JJ smiled brightly, she always enjoyed when they all could get together.

Scanning the room, she saw Reid standing by the bar with Tara and Garcia. She kept glancing at him, but he never met her eyes. Every now and then, she could feel his eyes on her, but he would avert his gaze whenever she turned to look at him.

This is how it went for a good part of the night. Then Emily got up to do her speech. JJ felt her heart skip a beat when her friend used the term 'twin flames'. That was the first time that night that her eyes locked with Reid's. His gaze was so full of love, that JJ could've melted right there on the spot. Then Will squeezed her hand and she felt like crying with guilt. Looking away from Reid, she gave a brief and tense smile to her husband.

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Reid spent the majority of the day thinking about JJ. Despite his efforts, he couldn't get her out of his head.

Now he had to see her in a little while, at Rossi's wedding. Even under these circumstances, that thought brought a smile to his face. He always looked forward to seeing JJ. Except, this time, he didn't know how it was going to go. He tried to plan out what to say, or do when he saw her, but it didn't work.

Anyway, it didn't matter if he had a plan or not, because as soon as JJ walked in the door, all the breath left Reid's lungs. She looked absolutely stunning. Reid didn't approach her, because he didn't have a clue what to say, but he couldn't keep his eyes off of her. He hoped he wasn't being too obvious… he _was_ standing in a room full of profilers.

Reid thought his heart was going to pound out of his chest when Emily was doing her speech. Her, well Penelope's, definition of 'twin flames' fit him and JJ exactly. He looked back at her, and their eyes met for what felt like an eternity. In that moment, Reid knew JJ felt it too. Then he was brought back to reality when he saw Will grab JJ's hand… and it felt like a crushing weight.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hey guys! I'm pretty happy with this story so far, and the response it is getting. Thank you all for that. I'm excited to keep going with this. This chapter is short, but I already have the next one started. Please let me know what you think!**

**Also, for those of you who watch FBI, I am hoping to get some more Maggie/OA fics started. I would love any ideas or prompts if you have them. Thanks!**

Despite the looming circumstances with Spence, JJ was enjoying herself at the wedding. The team was really able to let lose and have a good time. Plus, none of them could really dance, so that was hilarious to watch.

During one of the slower dances, JJ spotted Reid by the bar. So, extracting herself from the dance floor, she made her way to him. She smiled to herself when she heard him order a plain water, respecting the fact that he never drank alcohol because of wanting to keep his mind clear. "Hey." She stood beside Reid, leaning against the bar.

Reid looked up and gave a small smile. "Hey."

"Spence, I never got to say it back there, but thank you… for saving my life."

"You're welcome. Are you okay?" Reid's voice was soft, almost hesitant.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Luke was right… two guns. How long have you been wearing an ankle holster?"

"Since I got out of prison."

JJ internally cringed, thinking about the time Spence was locked up. "Oh."

Neither said anything for a few seconds, and JJ knew it was time to bring _it _up. She sighed and looked away. "So, listen Spence… What I said in there… I needed to get his attention, and I needed to get _your _attention." JJ felt like she was rambling until Reid lightly grabbed her hand.

"Jennifer, truth or dare?"

Even though she wanted to, JJ couldn't tear her eyes away from Reid's. She tried not to profile him, but she could see so much raw emotion. He was still holding her hand, and it took a moment for her to find her voice. "Truth."

"Did you mean it?"

JJ couldn't breathe, and she definitely couldn't answer. Those few seconds felt like an eternity, but then Emily walked over and Reid let go of her hand.

"Hey guys. They're about ready to cut the cake." Emily had absolutely no idea how big of a moment she was interrupting.

JJ smiled brightly. "Okay, thanks. We'll be right there."

As Emily turned and walked off, Reid went to follow, but JJ knew she couldn't let the conversation end like that. She placed her hand on his chest for a second to stop him. "Spence, just wait, please." She didn't know what else to say.

"It's okay, everything's okay." Reid's words were barely audible.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." His voice cracked ever so slightly, and JJ wasn't sure that she believed him.

"Okay." After a moment, JJ simply walked away. Now wasn't the time to push further.

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Reid could feel her presence before she was even in his line of sight. It was crazy, but that's how it was every time she was in the room. This was no exception. Then she was standing next to him… close enough that he could smell her vanilla perfume.

Reid didn't know if the small talk JJ was initiating was more for her benefit or his, but he played along anyway. Then his heart stopped when she mentioned her "confession." He knew he shouldn't have pushed and asked if she meant it… but he had to know.

The problem was, Reid didn't get an answer. Any other time, he would have been able to read JJ clearly, but now his judgement was way too clouded. He didn't know whether to be disappointed or relieved when Emily interrupted. JJ stopped him when he started to walk off… and then he lied. He told her it was all okay. He saw her distress and stopped her from saying anything else. He lied to her, and hated doing it. He desperately wanted to believe that everything was okay, but that just wasn't the case.

Reid's eyes followed JJ as she walked away. He would stay long enough to watch Dave and Krystall cut the cake, and then he had to get out of there. It was all too much.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Hey everybody! Hope you are all staying safe and healthy.

So this chapter isn't my best work. It is short, but it is more of a filler before we get to the big stuff. Thank you for sticking with me!

Also, did anyone else find it odd that the team didn't notice anything going on between JJ and Reid during the six months?

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JJ was dreading Monday morning when it rolled around. She arrived at work anxious about what was to happen between herself and Reid.

She had seen him leave the wedding before everyone else, and deep down, she knew it was because of their conversation. On Sunday, she didn't hear from him… and that was unusual. They always either spoke or texted everyday. Reid wasn't big on texting, but he made an exception for JJ… and she knew that.

JJ didn't reach out to Reid over the rest of the weekend because she wanted to give him space if he needed it. She also figured that he obviously didn't want to talk to her… and that thought broke her heart.

On top of that, JJ and Will didn't get to have their talk because Will was called in to work a homicide.

So, JJ wasn't feeling too optimistic about this week.

The day progressed slowly at first. Everyone, excluding Rossi, came in and got to work at their desks.

As he did every morning, Reid smiled at JJ, though it didn't meet his eyes, and he greeted her, but it wasn't with his usual enthusiasm.

JJ didn't have much time to ponder that, as Emily called them in for a briefing. Forty minutes later, the team was on their way to Colorado to solve a string of homicides.

During the case, Reid started to distance himself from JJ. He sat beside Alvez on the jet, tried to work with the others at the precinct, and only talked to JJ about the case. He knew he had to put her out of his mind so that he could focus on the job. That wasn't too bad, considering the case was pretty fast-paced. They barely had time to go to the hotel.

The team arrested the suspect, and arrived in DC two days later. They were all exhausted, despite getting some sleep on the jet. Emily told them that they could worry about their reports the next morning, after going home and getting some proper rest. After all, it was nearly midnight.

Reid was the first one to leave. He bid the team good night, but left without a second glance towards JJ. Only after getting in his car, did he allow his mind to wander to her, and how much it hurt to ignore her. He didn't want to push his best friend away, but he kept telling himself that it was for the sake of her family.

And that's how it went for the next few months. The only times JJ and Reid spoke were case-related. At first, JJ tried talking to Reid, but it was to no avail. She didn't really know what to say, and he would excuse himself from her attempts at a conversation, so JJ eventually stopped. It became awkward between the two, and they did everything they could to avoid being alone together.

What neither of them knew, was that the team began to notice their behavior… especially Rossi. When he came back from his honeymoon, he could tell something was wrong with JJ and Reid. He had never seen them so distant towards each other, not even after Emily's "death". He didn't know what had happened, but he was willing to bet that it had something to do with their mutual attraction. It was obvious how JJ and Reid felt about each other… Rossi knew that ever since he rejoined the BAU nearly twelve years ago.

Now, something had changed… and Rossi decided that if things didn't improve, he was going to have to start asking questions.

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A/N: I'm sorry guys. This chapter was rushed and choppy. The next one will contain bigger events. Thanks for reading!


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Hey people! Hope everyone is well. I know it's been over a week since I've posted, and I apologize for that. I thought having a 'stay at home' order would give me more time to write, but that hasn't been the case. Thank you for sticking with me though! I really love this story and writing for this fandom. Please let me know what you think about this chapter.**

**Also, I apologize for any mistakes. I did not have the time to revise this chapter before typing it up.**

JJ was… well, she didn't really know what she was. Pissed? Yes, at herself. Heartbroken? Absolutely.

It had been nearly six months since JJ and Reid had spoken outside of work. It had been nearly six months since the boys had gotten to play with their godfather. It had been nearly six months since that night in Los Angeles.

JJ had absolutely no idea what to do. Her marriage was falling apart. She had practically lost her best friend. And worst of all, she felt like she was failing as a mom.

JJ and Will were still fighting, and it wasn't just about the job anymore. JJ had become very distant towards Will. She knew she shouldn't be like that, but since the whole deal with Reid, she thought she was going insane. Ever since Reid had stopped talking to her, there was a huge void that could never be filled. Because of it, JJ was shutting Will out, so, their fighting intensified.

That scared JJ. She knew she was causing the fights. Michael was still kind of young, but Henry picked up on some of the tension, despite how hard JJ and Will tried to shield them from it.

Henry had even overheard one of their fights about a month ago. JJ spent most of that night apologizing to Henry, and promising him she would do everything she could to make things better. Then she shut herself in a room, and sobbed.

Henry didn't say anything else about the fight. He did, however, ask when he would get to see Uncle Spence again. So did Michael… multiple times.

JJ simply told them that he had a lot to deal with. She asked Reid at work if he wanted to come see the boys, but his only response was that he couldn't make it.

Little did she know, it killed Spence to stay away. He missed JJ and the boys so much, but he felt like he needed to keep his distance. He wasn't aware of how much that was hurting them.

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It came time for Kristy and Matt's baby shower, so the team came together to celebrate.

At some point, Tara and Reid started talking about Diana's new medical trial, and how she was coping with it. That led to a conversation about regrets, and wishing to change the past.

Reid hoped he wasn't being too obvious when he looked over at JJ. "It kind of makes you wish you could go back in time, and do things differently." He couldn't keep the sadness out of his voice, thinking about what could have been.. and what he should have done. Tara, having no idea what Reid was truly thinking about, struck back up their initial conversation of clinical research.

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The team was called to investigate, after a body was found near DC. Connecting it to several previous murders, Rossi was convinced that it was the work of 'The Chameleon,' but everyone else had other theories. They had trouble convincing Rossi that this was a different unsub. After all, Everett Lynch was still on the loose, and Rossi was taking it hard.

During the investigation, Emily sent JJ and Reid to the crime scene together. It was one of the first times they had been paired up in a while.

Emily had noticed the tension between them within the last few months, so without mentioning it to them, she kept JJ and Reid separated as much as she could. This time, she wasn't thinking. She had so much on her mind regarding Rossi, so she partnered them up without even thinking.

Reid was surprised when he heard his name with JJ's. He didn't know why, but Emily hadn't been putting them together much… and he was honestly grateful for that. He couldn't handle the tension, or the silence between himself and JJ. Though what was worse than the silence, was the small talk. Before this situation, they could have the deepest, most meaningful conversations. Reid would tell her things he had never, and would never, tell anyone else. And now… now everything was all messed up.

Here they were now, silently making their way to the crime scene. JJ drove, then they had to get out and walk through the woods the rest of the way. The body had been found a good ways into the woods, so it was a pain for JJ and Reid to get there.

They had just about made it, seeing the coroner's van several dozen yards ahead, when JJ slipped going down a hill.

Reid spun around, hearing JJ cry out, and caught her in an instant. The force almost caused them both to slide down the hill, but Reid braced them, keeping them from falling. "I got you." He quietly whispered. Making sure JJ was steady, Reid kept his hands on JJ's waist.

JJ brushed some hair out of her face, and smiled sheepishly. "Sorry."

Their eyes locked, and for a split second, both could imagine a different scenario- one where they were far from a crime scene, and where everything was perfect between the two.

"Agents!" A voice, calling out from behind them, shattered the moment.

Reid immediately dropped his hands as they turned to look at the detective.

"Crime scene's this way."

With one final glance towards each other, JJ and Reid followed the detective to the scene. And just like that, they were back to being absolute professionals… like nothing even happened.

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The next day, everything went sideways. They had arrested Dr. Hurst, but now they had a bigger problem: Everett Lynch had just helped his daughter escape from custody.

Emily sent several agents, including JJ and Reid, to the attorney's office, seeing as Lynch and Grace were last scene in the parking garage.

When the agents arrived, they split up and went through different entrances.

JJ cautiously entered the parking garage, gun held in front of her. Up ahead she heard voices. Knowing it was Lynch and his daughter, she stepped farther into the garage, having a bad feeling about what was to come. That's when she saw them beside of a van. "Everett Lynch, FBI!

Lynch spun around towards JJ, a gun in his hand.

"Drop your weapon, place your hands on your head, Lynch. Now!"

"Take it easy, lady. No need to gun down a daddy in front of his little girl." As he spoke, Lynch crouched down and placed his weapon on the ground.

"Kick it over." JJ kept her own gun trained on Lynch. "Kick it over to me!"

Lynch complied, so JJ then turned her attention to Grace. "Alright, you too, Grace. Drop your bag and show me your hands. Do it now."

Grace, after a moment of hesitation, looked over at her father. Then, hands visibly shaking, she dropped her bag.

That's when JJ made a potentially fatal mistake- she took her eyes off of Grace, for long enough to pick up Lynch's gun. Hand almost reaching the gun, she felt a searing pain rip through her side. Crying out, she fell to the ground. She could hear Everett and Grace jumping in the van and speeding off. She could feel her blood pooling around her. Then she was coughing, and could taste her own blood. In that moment, the only thought running through her mind was 'This is where it ends.'


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Hey guys! Thanks so much for those of you who have been reviewing this story. I really appreciate it. I'm not sure how many chapters this will be, but I'm thinking no more than 20. This one isn't too long, but I will be incorporating more into the next few chapters.

Thanks for reading and please let me know what you think!

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Reid ran out of the parking garage just in time to see the white van speeding off. He listened to the conversation between Rossi, Garcia, and Prentiss. They were notified about a carjacking, and automatically knew it was Lynch and his daughter.

When Matt, Luke, and Rossi ran off, Reid noticed that JJ hadn't checked in yet. He immediately pressed the button on his mic. "JJ?" No response. "JJ, what's your location?" He started to panic. "JJ?!" After still not getting a response, Reid ran into the parking garage, through the entrance he knew JJ had used.

Spencer's heart stopped when he saw JJ lying on the ground… in a pool of her own blood. He quickly covered the distance between them and dropped down at her side. "It's okay. I've got you." He placed his hand over JJ's wound, on her side, to stop the bleeding. She was already coughing up blood. Reid pressed the button on his mic again. "JJ's down, she's been hit! We need an ambulance, now!" He then turned back to JJ. "You're going to be okay. Just stay with me, Jennifer."

Reid was terrified. JJ was losing way too much blood. He could tell she was having a hard time keeping her eyes open. "Stay with me, JJ. You have to keep your eyes open. I know you're in pain, and you're tired, but you have to keep your eyes open. You are so strong, you have to fight." Reid's voice cracked, and he felt tears welling up in his eyes. He knew JJ was in so much pain.

JJ tried to speak, but no words came out.

"No, JJ. Don't try to speak. Save your breath. Just focus on your breathing." Reid could hear the sirens approaching. "You hear that? They're almost here."

Rossi ran into the garage and crouched down next to Reid and JJ. He exchanged a worried glance with Reid. "Paramedics are arriving now. Matt and Luke went to the carjacking sight."

Reid only nodded, keeping his attention on the blonde, as she was barely conscious. Any other time, Reid's mind would be filled with statistics on her condition, but right now, all he could think about was losing his best friend.

The ambulance pulled into the parking garage, and came screeching to a halt several feet from the agents. As the paramedics jumped out, Rossi pulled Reid away from JJ, but he only moved back enough to give them room.

The paramedics immediately got to work, and Reid answered all of their questions about JJ's injuries, and what happened. He then turned to Rossi, as JJ was loaded into the ambulance. "I'm going with her."

Rossi nodded. "Keep us posted."

"I will." With that, Reid climbed into the back of the ambulance and grabbed JJ's hand, though she was already unconscious. He didn't let go until they arrived at the hospital seven minutes later. He followed closely behind the stretcher as they wheeled her into the ER.

Doctors and nurses were waiting for the agent, and they quickly hooked her up to a heart monitor.

Suddenly, Reid heard two words that made his blood run cold.

"She's crashing!"

Reid watched in horror as they charged the defibrillators. His eyes filled with tears as JJ's small form was shocked back to life.

"She's back."

Spencer let out a breath that he didn't realize he was holding.

One of the doctors approached him. "Are you her husband?"

He stuttered before replying. "Uh, no. He's not here yet." He knew Emily would have already gotten in touch with Will by now.

"He better get here quick." She walked away without another word.

Reid's breath hitched, and he finally let a few tears fall. There was a strong possibility that he was going to lose JJ.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Hey guys! I'm so sorry that it's been two weeks since I posted. I haven't had that much time to write, and what little time I did have, I focused on my FBI story, 'Conflicted.' I'm sorry if this chapter seems choppy, and I'm not extremely pleased with it, but I wanted to get something posted. Thank you for reading, and please let me know what you think!**

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JJ was taken to the operating room, and Reid was left to wait. His phone rang, but it took a moment for him to realize. He finally pulled it out of his pocket. "He-hello."

It was Emily. "Reid, how is she?"

"They just took her to surgery. Her heart stopped." He found a chair, and slowly sunk down into it.

Emily let out a slow breath. "I wish we could be there, but this just means we need to catch Lynch more than ever. You stay there, and keep us updated."

Reid nodded, even though Emily couldn't see. There was no way he was leaving. "I will."

"Okay. I got in touch with Will. He'll be there soon."

Both agents hung up their end of the line. Reid, for the first time, noticed the blood on his hands. Knowing just whose blood it was made him nauseous. He ran to the nearest bathroom, just in time to empty the contents of his stomach into the toilet. After he finished, he wiped his mouth on his sleeve, and stepped over to the sink.

It wasn't easy to clean the blood off of his hands, as it was already dry. Reid wasn't sure how long he stood at the sink, rubbing his hands raw. All he could think was 'I can't lose her.' He didn't know how to survive losing JJ… she was his world.

After cleaning his hands of any trace of blood, Reid went back to the waiting room. Just as he sat down, Will came rushing through the doors, and over to Reid.

"Where is she? What happened?"

"She was shot in the side, where the vest doesn't cover."

Will looked like he was on the verge of a breakdown. "How bad is it?"

Reid couldn't meet Will's eyes. "It's bad."

With that, neither said another word. They just sat, and waited.

Waited… for hours.

Both Reid and Will got up several times to try and find something out, but the nurses just gave a sympathetic smile, and replied with "She's still in surgery." The, supposedly soothing, pale green walls, did nothing to calm the nerves of either of the men.

The team had been checking in almost every half hour. They were all so worried about JJ, and wanted to be at the hospital for her, but that couldn't happen. Lynch was still a threat to everyone around him, and after what happened to JJ, that made the team even more desperate to find him.

After over four hours of waiting, Will stepped outside to call the boys, so only Reid was in the waiting room when the doctor came out. He immediately stood up, worried as to what she was going to say.

"Agent Jareau made it through surgery. Is her husband here?" Her face portrayed no emotion.

"Yes, he's outside, on the phone with their kids. How is she?"

"She's stable, but she lost a lot of blood. We won't know if she sustained any neurological damage until after she regains consciousness."

Reid cringed, knowing there was a possibility of brain damage, but he couldn't bring himself to think about that right then. "Could I see her?"

The doctor nodded, and motioned for Reid to follow her into recovery. She then led him into JJ's room.

Spencer couldn't help but gasp when he saw JJ. She was deathly pale, and looked so fragile lying in the hospital bed. He stepped over to her, once the doctor left.

He didn't know if JJ could hear him, but he needed to try. He had been shutting her out for nearly six months, and now there was still a possibility that he would never hear her voice again.

"I keep going over it, and I still don't understand how I didn't realize sooner that you were missing. I'm so sorry." His voice cracked, but he needed to get the words out.

"I know things have been weird between the both of us… ever since you told me you love me. You said it, I heard it, and I just… the thing is, I don't know what to do with it. I know _why_ you said it, but I don't know if maybe you meant it… and what does that mean if you did?"

Reid took a shaky breath, and continued to pour his heart out. "After the wedding, you didn't mention it, and neither did I… because I didn't know how to talk to you about it, so I just stopped talking _to_ you. That's not what I meant… now, suddenly, none of it matters."

Tears were now filling Reid's eyes, and it was all he could do to stop them from falling. His voice was strained and choppy as he spoke. "All that matters is, is that you w-wake up, and I-I get to have m-more time with you."

He couldn't help it anymore. Tears were streaming down his face, as he tried to wipe them away. He desperately wanted to look away from JJ's still form, but he couldn't. "Because I can't imagine my life without you in it." He cleared his throat, and when he spoke again, his voice was much softer. "Please don't leave me."

Reid wiped at his tears once again, before turning to leave. As he reached the doorway, Will stepped inside. He motioned to the door. "Um, I'm going out to the waiting room. I'll update Emily."

Will didn't say anything. He just nodded and moved to JJ's bed.

When Reid entered the waiting room, he pulled out his phone and dialed Emily's number. He told her about JJ's condition, and she updated him on the case. After he hung up, he sat down, resting his head on his hand. It didn't take long for exhaustion to take over, and him to fall asleep.

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Reid was suddenly shook awake. He jumped as he was pulled up into a hug by Will.

"She's awake, man. She wants to see you."

Reid rubbed his eyes, as it took a moment for the words to sink in, but once they did, he practically sprinted to JJ's room. He stopped outside the door, suddenly hesitant. He wanted to see her, needed to see her, so pushing aside his nervousness, he stepped inside.

Reid's eyes immediately met JJ's. Her normally bright, blue eyes were now a cloudy gray, filled with pain. She was still really pale, but at least she was awake, and offering a weak smile to Reid.

"I should've found you sooner."

JJ slightly shook her head. "Spence, no. You saved my life… again."

Reid didn't say anything, just took in all the wires and monitors she was hooked up to.

"I'm really glad you're here."

"Where else would I be? You're my best friend." And he truly meant it. She really was his best friend, even after the past six months, and he couldn't imagine not being there with her… but after a brief pause, he decided he should probably go back outside, as he didn't want to cause her any tension. "I, um, should go back out, and let you get your rest."

"No, don't go yet. I've missed you."

"Me too." He really, really had.

JJ let out a deep breath, as best as she could. "It's my fault things have been… awkward between us. Listen, what I said, we really need to talk about it."

Reid knew they needed to, but he wasn't sure if he could handle it. "No, JJ, we don't. I shouldn't have let it drive a wedge between the two of us."

"I needed to say something real. That's what came out."

Reid's eyes snapped to JJ's. Something _real…_

"And I'm so, so sorry because I never meant to do that to you. I was- I was prepared to take that secret to the grave… and now, now it's out." JJ took another deep breath as tears filled her eyes. "And I can't, I can't lie to you, and tell you I didn't mean it."

Spencer wasn't sure what to do. He couldn't believe JJ actually meant what she said. As JJ shakily continued, Reid's eyes matched her own tear-filled ones.

"I do love you, Spence… you were my first love. And I'll always love you." JJ sounded so broken… so much like Reid felt.

JJ was Reid's first love too, and it wasn't something he'd ever get over.

"That's not fair to you, and I know it… because I love Will, and the boys. They have made me into who I am… but so have you, Spence." By then, tears were pouring down JJ's cheeks, but it appeared she was trying to compose herself. "You are such a big piece of my heart. You always will be."

Spencer wiped a stray tear from underneath his eye. The raw emotion in the room was so thick.

JJ continued on, and Reid didn't think he could handle anymore, but at the same time, he knew he needed to hear it all.

"Maybe, if things were… I don't know, different… I think about that sometimes."

Reid knew how she felt because he thought about it nearly every time he thought about her… but it was hopeless.

"Spence, I want you to know that I _never_ meant to hurt you… I just want you to be happy… and I want us to be okay."

Spencer softly smiled at JJ, as he wiped away another tear. "I know you do, Jennifer, and we _are_."

They shared one more sweet smile. Then the bubble burst as Will came in with the boys.

"Hi, mommy." Michael and Henry halted at the bed as Will told them to do so.

"Hey, buddy."

Reid turned and left the room, without another word. He needed to give JJ time with her family.. and he also needed time to process his thoughts.

Emily was standing in the hallway. "Hey."

"JJ's awake, and it's looking good."

Emily nodded, with a small smile. "I talked to Will, and the doctor on my way in. This is really good news, but I need to talk to JJ about the ballistics that came back. We're pretty sure that Grace was the one who shot JJ."

Reid gave a puzzled look.

"JJ has to confirm. It was the same gun that killed the Fosters."

"If, if that's true, that means Grace is just as dangerous as Everett." Reid stopped as his phone rang. He swallowed hard as he saw it was his mother's facility calling. "I have to take this… This is Spencer Reid."

By the time Reid hung up the phone, he was confused and nervous regarding the news on Diana.

Prentiss gave a concerned look. "Is your mother okay?"

"Um, I'm not really sure. The nurse at Brookfield says I need to get there as soon as possible."

"Go."

Reid glanced back at JJ's room. "I can't just leave."

"It's your mom. You have to. JJ's doing okay."

Reid was torn, but ultimately, he knew he needed to go check on his mom. "Thank you."

_'Why does everything have to happen at once?'_


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Hey guys! Hope everyone is doing okay. I appreciate all of you taking the time to read and review this story. Your feedback motivates me to continue. I know at the beginning, I said I would update weekly, but right now it's probably going to be every two weeks, however, the chapters might be longer. **

**Also, I know, as was mentioned, last chapter was basically a written version of 'Awakenings', but I felt the content was necessary to this story. As you will see in this chapter, for the rest of the story, I will be taking a different route. I hope you enjoy, and please let me know what you think!**

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JJ was utterly exhausted… mentally and physically. She was alone for what felt like the first time since waking up from surgery.

Will had just left to take the boys home, as it was getting late. The whole team had come to visit her. She was extremely grateful for them and their visits, but right now, she really just needed some time alone.

It was scary, thinking that she almost died… scratch that, she _had_ died. It might not have been for long, but her heart stopped.

As cliché as it sounded, this really made her stop, and ponder her life. She knew she had close calls before, more than she could count… but this was different.

JJ teared up when she thought of leaving her kids, and not getting to see them grow up. She was glad she got to see them, and hold them, several moments ago.

Then there was Spence. She was relieved that things were, somewhat, resolved between them. Initially, she hadn't planned on pouring her heart out like that, but she felt it needed to be done. Her confession, six months ago, had changed everything between herself and Spence. Now that that was out in the open, she thought she owed it to him to explain herself.

In a way, JJ felt like a weight had been lifted since Reid knew the truth… but there was also another truth that needed to be spoken… one to Will, about the future of their marriage.

JJ knew what she needed to do. She had known for a while, but she couldn't string it along any further.

Will coming in interrupted JJ's thoughts. He sat down beside her bed without saying a word. Suddenly, the room felt much more tense.

"Are the boys okay?"

"Yeah, they're at Kate's for the night."

"You could've stayed at home with them. I'm okay."

Will just nodded, but his eyes never left JJ's.

"Are _you_ okay?"

"Fine."

JJ knew this really wasn't the time or place, but she figured she would lose her nerve if she waited any longer. "Will, we need to talk." Looking at him, she could tell he knew where this was going.

"Yeah, we do."

JJ took a shaky breath. "I love you, Will, I really do… but I'm not _in_ love with you anymore. I can't do this anymore. I feel like we're just going through the motions, and it's going to end up hurting Henry and Michael."

Will was silent, his face portraying no emotion.

"I think we both knew this was coming."

"You want a divorce." It was more of a statement, rather than a question.

"Yes." Her response was barely audible.

"Be honest with me, JJ. Does this have anything to do with Spencer? Before you answer that, you should know I accidentally overheard your conversation with him."

That came as a shock to JJ, but this really wasn't about Spencer. "Look, I'm sorry you had to hear the truth like that. I'm not going to lie to you. I meant what I said to Spence, but it has nothing to do with this decision. This is purely because our marriage isn't working anymore, and I don't want our feelings to grow to resentment." Even though she wanted to look away, she felt she needed to look Will in the eyes while telling him this.

Will sadly nodded. "I know. I wish it didn't have to be like this… but you're not happy, and your heart isn't in it anymore. The truth is, I've known I was going to lose you, it was just a matter of time. I don't want to lose you, but I also don't want to be the reason you're unhappy."

JJ let a few tears fall. "I'm so sorry, Will. I really do love you, but we can't go on like this. It's not good for the kids… _or_ either of _us._"

"You're right, and I love you too. We'll figure things out later, but right now, you need to focus on getting better. If you don't mind, I'm going to stay with you tonight, I don't feel right leaving you."

"That's fine. Thank you." She gave a small, watery smile, and he returned it.

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Thanks to a dose of sedatives, JJ was able to sleep through the night. She awoke the next morning to one of her nurses checking her vitals.

"Good morning, Agent Jareau." The nurse, Dana, smiled. "How are you feeling?" She kept her voice quiet, as Will was still sleeping in the chair.

"I'm okay." That was a lie. It hurt every time she, even slightly, shifted her body.

"Well, your vitals look good. We will give you some antibiotics within the next few hours. The doctor will be in soon, but I can give you some pain medication now, if you need it."

JJ knew it would probably do a world of good, but decided to hold off. "Not right now, thank you."

"Okay, well, if you change your mind, let me know." With that, she smiled once again, and walked out.

By that time, Will was starting to stir. "Morning, how ya feeling?" He let out a yawn as he stretched.

"I'll be alright. Thank you for staying. I know that couldn't have been comfortable."

"Don't worry about it. I wouldn't have felt right leaving last night… but if you're doing okay now, I might go home for a bit. I'll check in with Kate, and grab a shower."

"Take your time, Will. I'm fine. If you see the boys before they go to school, give them a hug from me."

"I will." He rubbed her hand before walking out.

Several moments later, Emily knocked on the door, while sticking her head in. "JJ, hey."

JJ gave her friend a big smile. "Hey, Emily. Come in."

Emily returned the smile, and sat in the chair that Will had vacated. "I'm not going to ask how you're feeling, I'm sure you're getting tired of that question," (they shared a chuckle at that) "but do you need anything?"

"To get out of here."

"Unfortunately, I can't help with that. On the plus side, you're going to have more visitors soon. Garcia said she'll be by around lunch time, and Reid's going to come by after he gets some sleep." At JJ's puzzled look, she elaborated. "After Reid left here yesterday, he went to visit Diana."

"Is she okay?" JJ was instantly concerned about Spence's mom. She hoped nothing bad had happened.

"She's having a period of clarity right now, but unfortunately, that will most likely transition into a rapid decline of mental health. Reid stayed with her through the night, and from what I gather, had some pretty meaningful conversations. He wanted to come see you this morning, but I convinced him to get some rest first."

The rest of Emily's visit was filled with talk about the case on Lynch, and his daughter. She didn't get to stay long, as she had to get to work, but promised she would keep JJ informed.

Once again, JJ was left alone with her thoughts. She hoped Everett and Grace were caught before they could hurt anyone else.

She hoped Spence and Diana were doing okay, because God only knew how much the mother and son had been through.

And she also hoped everything would be okay concerning the divorce. She prayed there would be a smooth transition for everyone. They all had a long road ahead of them, but deep down, JJ knew they were doing the right thing.

**A/N: I hope this was worth reading. Did anyone else wonder what it would be like if Will overheard that conversation, or Reid talking to unconscious JJ, during 'Awakenings'?**

**Please let me know your thoughts on this chapter!**


	10. Chapter 10

It was two o'clock in the afternoon, and Reid was driving to the hospital to see JJ. He wanted to see her earlier, but Emily had convinced him to get some sleep. After all, he spent the night at his mom's care facility having some deep conversations with her. That was something he didn't think he would get to do again. He was surprised when he got the call from Brookfield… and scared. He hadn't known what to expect. Then, when he got there, it was as if he could momentarily forget about his mother's illness. He was, however, worried about what was to come. There would most likely be a rapid decline in her health. He was just glad that she had agreed to a new trial.

Now, Reid was somewhat rested, and ready to see his best friend. He didn't really know how to feel about JJ's confession… well, her second confession really. He had dreamed of hearing those words from JJ. Granted, not when she was lying in a hospital bed, and on top of that, married… but still. He never thought that being loved by Jennifer Jareau was a possibility, until the day they were held hostage. Then he couldn't get the thought out of his head… but now, even though she confirmed that she felt the same way he did, there was nothing he could do. JJ had Will.

Pulling into the hospital parking lot, Reid pushed those thoughts out of his head. He couldn't let that stop him from visiting his best friend. He had already shut her out for the past six months, and then she almost died. It showed him how much he needed JJ in his life, so he wasn't about to shut her out again.

Reid made his way up to JJ's room and knocked on the door. Hearing her confirmation to enter, he did just that. Seeing her big smile, he couldn't help but return it. "Hey. How are you?" He shut the door behind him and sat down in the bedside chair. He was surprised that Will wasn't in there.

"I'm good."

He gave her a pointed look. "Jennifer."

JJ held his gaze for a few seconds, but finally relented. "I…will be good. Physically, I'm recovering well. It will take time, but the doctor thinks I'll make a full recovery. Mentally, I guess I'm still reeling from the shock of it all. It scared me."

Reid was the only one she would admit that to, and he knew it. "It scared me too." In a rare move he surprised both JJ and himself, and grabbed her hand.

For a moment, no words were exchanged. The two agents just looked at each other, and then down to their intertwined hands. Reid could've sworn that he saw tears in JJ's eyes.

He squeezed her hand before letting go.

JJ cleared her throat. "Um, Emily told me about your mom. How is she doing?"

"She's okay right now. She's agreed to participate in another trial. We're not sure how long this stage will last, but it's what comes after that I'm worried about. I got to spend quality time with her last night and this morning. We got to talk about things we haven't been able to before, so that was nice."

JJ gave a sympathetic smile. "I'm glad you got to have that time with her. I hope the next trial goes well."

"Yeah, me too." After a brief pause, Reid addressed his earlier thought. "Where's Will?"

Suddenly, JJ's whole demeanor changed, even though she tried to hide it. "Um, he went home this morning. He's going to bring the boys by when they get out of school."

Reid could tell she was holding something back. "JJ? What's wrong?"

"Well, uh… Will and I are getting a divorce."

Reid's eyes almost bugged out of his head. "What? Why? Oh no, this doesn't have anything to do with.." His voice trailed off, guilt coursing through his whole being.

JJ shook her head and reached out to grab Spence's arm. He tensed for a second, but then she could feel him relax under her touch. "No, Spence. Will and I have been heading in this direction for a while. We just didn't want to face it… but now, we've gotten to a point where if we don't make some major changes, everybody involved is going to be hurt. I can't do that to the boys."

"But what about them growing up without their parents together?" Reid knew exactly what that was like. He didn't want Henry and Michael going through the same thing.

"We are both going to be there for them every step of the way. It's going to be an adjustment for them… for everyone, but in the long run, this is for the best. Believe me, I have given this so much consideration, I have thought out every possible outcome or scenario. This _is_ the best option."

Reid slowly nodded. "Well, I'm sorry you are having to go through this."

"Thank you. You know, the boys have been asking about you. They really want to see you. After you left yesterday evening, they asked why you didn't stay and see them."

Reid was once again filled with guilt. He looked down at his lap. "I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have shut you guys out. I shouldn't have stopped visiting… I've really missed them."

"They'll be here soon, if you want to stick around."

He gave a small smile. "I'd love that."

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About an hour later, Will brought the boys in to see JJ. They gave a big greeting to their mom, and shyly waved at Reid. They weren't exactly sure how to act around him right now, and he felt a piece of his heart break.

Reid got up and hugged the boys. "Hey guys! How are you?"

Will glanced at JJ while the kids mumbled their reply. She just gave a small smile.

Reid knelt down to Henry and Michael's level. "I'm sorry that I haven't been visiting the two of you. Some things happened, and I handled it the wrong way. I shouldn't have done that. I've really missed you guys, and I won't do that again, I promise."

Michael was quick to hug his godfather again, and soon after, Henry followed suit. "We love you Uncle Spence."

"I love you too." He let out a sigh of relief, and looked over to JJ. She had tears in her eyes, and a big smile on her face.

No words were spoken between Reid and Will, but the two men nodded at each other. It was tense in the room, between the three adults, but they tried to cover it up for Henry and Michael.

Reid was sure Will knew about his feelings toward JJ. He just hoped Will didn't get the wrong idea and think that something had been going on between them. Reid made a mental note to talk to JJ about that later, but right now, he just wanted to focus on his godsons… because he had really missed them.


	11. Chapter 11

JJ was confined to the hospital for another week. Her recovery was progressing nicely, but she still had to be careful given the placement of the healing wound. One wrong move could tear the stitches and set her recovery back.

JJ was going stir crazy during that week. She was able to get up and move around some, but it wasn't for long at a time, and then she had to get back in bed. If it was up to her, she would have already been home, and back to normal activities.

Will brought Henry and Michael by every day. The two adults remained friendly towards each other, hoping to keep things relatively normal for the boys. At least two BAU agents were there every day to see JJ, and she was really grateful for their company and support.

When it came time for JJ to go home, her and Will decided on a plan for handling the separation and divorce. Will would go home with JJ in order to help her out with her recovery, then after she returned to work, he would move into an apartment.

It would be a challenge handling the custody agreement, given both JJ and Will's hectic work schedules, but they eventually decided on something that would best fit all of them.

They also had to decide on how to talk to the boys… and that's what scared JJ. She knew it would be a huge adjustment for everyone, but she was worried as to how the boys would take it… especially Henry, given his age. Fortunately, Michael was still a little young to understand what was going on.

JJ was ordered by her doctor, to take two weeks to recover before returning to work. That, she had mixed feelings about. On one hand, she would get to spend some more time with her sons, and it would give her and Will additional time to sort things out. On the other, she knew she would miss her job and team, as she already had been while in the hospital.

The first week JJ was home, nothing was said to the boys about the upcoming changes. Will started searching online for a close by apartment, and discreetly packed up some of his things. He also started sleeping in the guest room.

The team was constantly checking in on JJ. They would either call or text whenever they had the chance. Some of them would even stop by every few days.

Spence stuck to checking in over the phone. He thought it would be best given the circumstances, but he was faithful to call every evening… and to prevent what happened before, after talking to JJ each night, he would also talk to Henry and Michael. Before hanging up, he would recite them a bedtime story.

JJ wasn't sure who enjoyed that more.. The boys or Spence. She loved the bond that her kids had with their godfather, and she was grateful that it had been patched up after everything that happened between him and herself. She was also grateful to have her best friend back in her life. She couldn't handle losing him again.

Contrary to what Will believed, JJ wasn't divorcing him to be with Spencer. She ultimately believed that this was the best thing for everyone. She knew their marriage wasn't going to last, so it was better to end it now, before things got worse between the two. She wasn't planning on running to Reid after the divorce papers were signed. If, however, something happened later down the road, they would cross that bridge when they came to it. Right now, she was going to focus on her and the boys.

**A/N: Hey! I know this chapter was really short, and I apologize for that, but before I continue, I am trying to decide between a couple of routes to take with this story. Right now I am updating every two weeks, but I will try to have the next chapter up before then… and I promise it will be longer. **

**Thank you for reading, and please let me know what you think!**


	12. Chapter 12

Four weeks. JJ didn't realize how much could change in four weeks. In that time, she had attended physical therapy, and returned to work for full duty. Her recovery progressed a lot quicker than the doctor had expected… something she was extremely grateful for.

Also, in that time, Will moved out. They had discussed everything with Henry and Michael, and that went… well. Michael was still too young to understand, but Henry knew exactly what was going on. At first, he asked if it was because of something him or Michael had done, but by the end of the conversation, they had reassured him that it wasn't his fault. They told him that while there would be some changes to the living situation, they still loved him and Michael more than anything in the world. He seemed to accept it, and then thought it was pretty cool that he would have another bedroom at his dad's new place. JJ was so thankful for the resilience of her boys, as they seemed to adjust o the new situation well.

The custody arrangement was a little more tricky, due to JJ and Will's jobs, but they made it work. JJ would keep the boys throughout the week. Will would keep them on the weekends, and whenever JJ had a case. In order for that to work, JJ had to reduce her hours. She would only go on every other case, and would consult by phone the rest of the time. This way, her and Will were both able to spend pretty equal time with the boys.

Emily was really good about securing JJ's hours, so that was a big weight off of the blonde. Emily was also the only one, besides Reid, that knew about the impending divorce.

JJ knew the team would find out eventually, especially since her change of schedule, but she wasn't exactly sure if she was ready to let them know her marriage had failed. Right now, all they knew was that she was cutting back on cases to spend more time with the boys. Although, she was pretty sure some of them had their suspicions… and had noticed her lack of wedding rings. They're profilers, after all. Oh well, if they knew, they knew.

Today was Friday. It had been nearly six weeks since the shooting. JJ still had some pain every now and then, but she was quickly getting back to her normal self.

The team was coming back from a case today. It had been JJ's time to stay in DC, so the past three days, she had basically had the bullpen to herself (save for Garcia, but she mainly had to stay in her office).

While the rest of the team was away, JJ did help with their case some, but she spent most of the time reviewing consults, and sending in profiles to the authorities that needed help. It was an adjustment, staying back while the rest of the team ran into danger, but she quickly settled into the new role. She enjoyed being able to take her kids to school, pick them up, and tuck them in at night.

Her and Will remained friendly throughout the separation. They actually found that they were getting along better without living under the same roof.

She still talked to Spence almost every evening, whether they were on a case or not. JJ looked forward to those conversations. Besides seeing her kids, that was the highlight of her day.

The glass doors opening behind her quickly pulled JJ from her thoughts. The team was back. JJ smiled and turned to greet them. "Hey guys!"

The agents greeted her in return, Reid even pulling her into a brief hug.

Hearing that the agents were back, Garcia came barreling out of her office to join the greeting.

JJ turned to Luke. "Heard the takedown didn't go as planned. You alright?"

The agent in question was littered with various scrapes and bruises after getting into it with the unsub. Emily had told JJ that the two had gone crashing through a window after a big fight.

Luke smiled. "I'm fine. You should see the other guy."

Smirking, JJ shook her head. "Of course. What was I thinking?"

Matt patted the blonde on her shoulder. "We miss you out in the field when you don't go. Maybe if you had been with us, you could of taken down the unsub before he threw Alvez out the window," JJ laughed, as did the rest of the team, "but I get wanting to spend more time with the family. How are Henry and Michael?"

"They're good." JJ sighed. She didn't want to lie to her friends anymore. She turned to Emily. "Um… can I make an announcement real quick?"

"Of course." Emily gave a reassuring smile, obviously knowing what JJ was about to say.

"I haven't exactly been truthful as to why I had Emily reduce my hours. It _is _to be with the boys more, but Will and I are working out a custody arrangement. We're getting a divorce."

None of the agents really seemed surprised… except for Garcia. She was… well, surprised was an understatement. "What do you mean?! Why?! What happened, peaches?!" She went to ask another question, but JJ held up her hand.

"Penelope, breathe. Will and I love each other, we do, but we aren't in love anymore. This is what is best for us and the boys." JJ looked around the room. "The rest of you don't seem surprised."

Rossi was the one to speak up. "JJ, you're our family. We can tell when something is wrong. I think I can speak for all of us, when I say I'm sorry you're going through this. Is there anything we can do?"

JJ shook her head. "No, I think we're okay, but thank you."

Garcia was standing there with wide eyes. "You guys knew, and didn't say anything to me?"

This time, Tara spoke for the group. "I think we all just had our suspicions, but it isn't our place to say anything." She then turned back to JJ. "We're all here if you or the boys need anything."

"Thank you. All of your support means the world to me." JJ knew she was lucky to have such an amazing group of people standing next to her… even if she would have to face a million questions from Garcia.

**A/N: Thank you for reading! I've been lacking inspiration for this story lately, so I apologize if my writing shows that. I hate that because I was really excited about this one in the beginning. I feel like there aren't as many people interested this story, as there were in the beginning. Please let me know if you are still enjoying this, if not, I might go on hiatus for a while. **


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Hey everyone! Thank you so much for your responses to chapter 12. Due to that, I have decided not to go on hiatus, and this chapter is up early. At this point, I'm thinking the story will be about 25 chapters, and they will be longer than what I have been posting.**

**For this chapter, I have decided to bring in a character, a fan favorite, to mix it up a little. I hope you all enjoy! Please let me know.**

CMCM

JJ stepped out of her vehicle and scanned the parking lot, before her eyes landed on a familiar SUV. She opened the doors for her overly excited sons. "Come on, boys. Looks like they're here."

It was a Saturday, and JJ brought Henry and Michael to the park. Will was supposed to have them on the weekend, but he got called in for a homicide, so he brought the boys to JJ's.

The trio was meeting Aaron and Jack Hotchner for an afternoon together. Originally, after Hotch and Jack got out of Wit sec, they had started doing this once a month, but given the past few months, they hadn't been able to do it for a while.

Henry and Michael were ecstatic to see Jack, and JJ was looking forward to seeing her long-time friend.

Spotting said friend, kicking a soccer ball with his son, JJ smiled and led her boys over to them. "Aaron, Jack, hey!"

Hotch quickly looked up and returned the big smile. "Hey!"

Jack, now fourteen years old, hugged his "aunt" before turning his attention to Henry and Michael. Even being a teenager, Jack still enjoyed hanging out with, almost ten year-old, Henry. He liked playing "big brother" and looking out for Michael.

Henry and Michael both waved at Hotch before going to play with Jack and the soccer ball.

Hotch pulled JJ in for a brief hug before looking her over to see if she was okay. He had heard about both the shooting, and the separation. "It's good to see you, JJ. How are you doing?"

"It's good to see you too. I'm doing great, how are you?"

Hotch gave her a pointed look.

She smiled. "What makes you think that 'Hotchner glare' works on me anymore?"

Hotch easily returned the smile, a sight JJ had come to see more and more of since he left the BAU. "If we're being honest, I don't think it ever really worked on you. Besides Dave, you might have been the only one immune to it… And that's probably because you always had _your_ look that could rival my own."

"And I haven't lost it either." They both shared a laugh.

"Seriously though, JJ, how _are_ you doing?"

JJ sighed. Save for her brief conversation in the hospital with Reid, she hadn't really opened up to anyone about the past few months. Sitting there with Hotch, or Aaron- as she had started calling him, she felt safe to do it, felt like it might help. "Mentally or physically?"

"Both."

"Physically, I'm doing really good. I'm back in the field. I've made a lot of progress over the past six weeks, even have a battle scar to show for it." JJ chuckled.

Aaron smiled thinly, but was too concerned about her to find humor in that statement. After a brief silence, he gently prompted JJ to continue. "And mentally?"

Looking away from Aaron, and fixing her gaze on a nearby bush, JJ shook her head. "You know what, I don't want to unload all my problems on you. This is supposed to be a fun day, I shouldn't burden you with my crazy life."

"JJ, it isn't a burden. You're my friend, and I want to know what's going on with you. God knows you've helped me through so much over the years, let me be here for you."

Seeing his sincerity, JJ smiled. "That means a lot, Aaron."

Aaron lightly patted her knee, encouraging her to share her thoughts.

"There's just so much going on, all at once… and I haven't really had time to process it. The divorce… I mean, it was inevitable, and I knew it. I just kept putting it off. Does that make me crazy?... Holding on to something for so long, even though I knew it was failing, and there was no chance."

Aaron shook his head, knowing all too well what the blonde was feeling. "That's not crazy, JJ. You were just holding out hope for something to change. No one wants their marriage to fall apart and come to an end. I know you, JJ, and I know you did everything you could to salvage yours. That doesn't make you crazy."

JJ nodded her thanks to the man beside her. Seeing Jack help Michael score a goal up ahead, she let out a soft chuckle. That was a nice segway into the next topic. "It's nice being able to enjoy these moments. After I got shot, it really made me take stock of everything around me… small things that I would take for granted each day. I've never been that close to dying before. Doing this job for fifteen years, I knew something like this was bound to happen. I guess I never really put much thought into it."

"I think being agents, we know there is that possibility of not coming home, but we never really think it will happen to us. I know when I was in the field, I was more concerned about something happening to one of you guys rather than myself. I was so focused on that, that I forgot I wasn't invincible."

JJ gave a sly smile. "And here, all this time, I thought you were."

"Ssh… don't tell anybody. Are you close to finding Lynch?"

"That's hard to say. Every time we think we're closing in, something big happens to set us back to square one."

"You'll get him. Best team in the country, I have all the confidence in the world." After she gave him a thin smile, Aaron could tell there was something else bothering his friend. "JJ, I can tell something else is bothering you. You can tell me what it is. Maybe I can help. If not, at least I can be a sounding board… Whatever it is, it's obviously something big, and burying it isn't going to make you feel any better."

JJ smirked over at Aaron. "Are you seriously profiling me right now?"

Chuckling, Aaron nodded. "What can I say, it's something you can't turn off… just ask Jack. Seriously, JJ, I don't mean to sound pushy, but I want you to know that you can open up to me."

"I do know that, Aaron." She knew she needed to discuss this with someone, and who better than Aaron Hotchner? "Okay, this is a really long story, but I'm going to put it as simply as I can… I'm in love with Reid." That whole time, she was looking at anything but the raven-haired man beside her. When she finally glanced at him, all she seen was a look of understanding.

"This isn't exactly news to me." His tone wasn't at all judgmental… just soft, and almost sympathetic.

"You knew?" JJ couldn't really hide the shock from her voice.

"Yes. I've always known there was an attraction between the two of you. You were good at hiding it… well, Reid was kind of obvious, but _you_ were good at hiding it." They both shared a small smile at that. "Why is this bothering you so much now? Is it because of the divorce?"

"We had a case in LA, about seven months ago. Spence and I were held hostage."

"Yeah, I remember. You, me, and the kids got together a couple weeks after that. You seemed kind of off, but I chalked it up to you being held hostage."

"Oh, right, sorry. Well, I also said our unsub was obsessed with 'truth or dare'. In order for us all not to get shot, I volunteered to play. He told me to share my deepest, darkest secret, or he would shoot Spence… I told Spence that I loved him." Her voice trailed off to a whisper.

"Did Reid say anything? I mean, I'm sure he couldn't then, but what about after?"

"At first he just looked so… broken. That was when he was able to shoot the unsub. We didn't talk about it until Rossi's wedding. He asked me if I meant it, and I couldn't give him an answer, so it wasn't brought up again for six months."

"When you were shot." It was more of a statement than a question. Then it was like a light bulb went off. "Oh."

"What?"

"When Dave and I talked, almost three months ago, he said you and Reid were acting strange. He didn't know why, but thought it had something to do with LA."

"Wow. I didn't really realize anyone had picked up on the tension." Looking back, though, she assumed it was pretty obvious… especially to profilers.

Aaron smiled softly. "JJ, in the time I've known you, there was only one time when you and Reid weren't in perfect sync: Prentiss's "death." If something is up between _you two_, people close to you are going to notice."

JJ nodded, knowing her former supervisor was right. "I know I shouldn't have said that, the night of the hostage situation… but I was _so_ scared that he was going to shoot Spence… and I was _so_ scared that I would never get another chance to tell him."

"That makes sense. It sounds like you did what you had to do. You were able to distract the unsub so that Reid could shoot him…. So, you two talked after you were shot?"

"Yeah, I admitted that I meant it. We kind of agreed that if things had been different, maybe there could have been something between us. Everything seems okay now… And before you ask, no, this is not the cause of my divorce."

Aaron held up his hands. "I didn't think it was." He was silent for a moment, before looking the blonde directly in the eyes. "Do you think there's a future for you and Reid?"

JJ sighed, breaking eye contact, looking down at her sky blue running shoes. "I honestly don't know. There would be so much to consider. The divorce papers aren't even signed."

"Do you want there to be?" He was fairly sure he knew the answer to that, but he needed to hear her say it.

JJ didn't say anything for a long moment, but when she finally spoke up, Aaron had to strain to hear her. "Yes, more than anything… but there are so many reasons why it shouldn't, or couldn't happen."

"JJ, one thing that I have realized, life is short. If there is something you want, or something that is going to make you happy, you need to go for it, because you might not get another chance. Then you would regret it for the rest of your life… I'm not saying to rush into anything. Give yourself time to process the divorce, and the effects of that, but don't throw something away, or rob yourself of happiness because of fear."

JJ gave her friend a watery smile before leaning in for a hug. "Thank you, Aaron."

Aaron returned the gesture. "Anytime."

After that, the pair talked about the boys, and how Henry and Michael were handling recent events. They talked about Jack's schooling, and his talent on the soccer field… about Aaron being a stay-at-home dad. The team was also brought up, as well as past cases.

JJ was happy getting to catch up with her friend… and she knew he was right. Starting a relationship with Spence would have risks, but it was a chance she was willing to take.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Hey guys! I apologize that this chapter is a little late. The past few weeks have been kind of crazy, and I haven't had much time to write. Anyways, I hope this one is worth reading.**

**Also, if you are a fan of SWAT, please check out my new story 'Instant Attraction.' It is a SWAT and Criminal Minds crossover (one shot) that focuses on JJ and Street. I finished writing it last month, and published it a couple of weeks ago. I would love to know what you think, and if you would like to see more like that. **

It had been six months since JJ's return to work… six months since JJ announced her separation to the team.

In those six months, the divorce was finalized. JJ was amazed at how well Henry and Michael were adjusting to everything. Even her and Will were on good terms.

The team also continued their pursuit of Everett Lynch during that time. Everyone was mentally exhausted over that case, but they weren't about to give up.

On top of everything else that was going on, JJ and Reid continued to dance around their feelings for each other. Reid came to the house every week to visit the boys (as long as the BAU didn't have a case), and he still talked to JJ almost every evening on the phone.

Nothing else was said about JJ's confession, nor how they felt about each other, but something was changing between the two agents. They both could feel it. Though neither could describe what it was, something was different about their interactions. They were as close as ever, but there were more looks and touches exchanged… more comments that could be taken as the start of a deeper relationship.

Those feelings weren't actually acted upon until a situation landed Reid in the hospital. The team had gotten information about their case on Lynch. That's how they ended up with SWAT, in Reno, Nevada, surrounding a house that currently held Lynch, his mother, and a teenage girl.

JJ and Reid were the only ones from the team there with SWAT, and Reid was trying to negotiate with Roberta Lynch over the phone. He was finally able to convince her to release Olivia, the hostage.

Once she was safely out of the house, Reid made the call to move in.

At the same time, JJ received a call from Rossi. Roberta wasn't going to kill Everett… she was going to die with him.

JJ's heart stopped when she heard that. It was as if everything was happening in slow motion. She spotted Reid moving forward with the SWAT team, and knew she needed to stop them from going any farther. "Spence! Spence, stop!" She started to run towards him, but the house in front of her suddenly exploded. She watched in horror as Reid, along with multiple SWAT members, was thrown to the ground.

JJ's ears were ringing, but she had to get to Spence. The world around her faded out as she ran and dropped to her knees next to the collapsed agent. "Spence! Can you hear me?"

Reid was starting to sit up. He glanced around, clearly disoriented, before his eyes finally landed on JJ.

"Spence? Can you hear me?"

Reid barely nodded before trying to stand. He ultimately failed in his attempt, and JJ placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Stay down, Spence. It's okay. We're going to get a medic to check you out."

"No." Reid's voice was barely above a whisper. He was frantically looking around.

JJ followed his eyeline. She gasped as she saw several of the SWAT officers, still lying on the ground… unmoving. She could hear the firetrucks and ambulances in the distance, but after seeing the faces of the rest of the SWAT team, she knew it was too late for some of them.

Seeing that JJ was distracted, Reid used that as an opportunity to hoist himself up.

JJ quickly turned around. "Spence… Medics are almost here. We need to get you checked out."

"JJ, I'm fine." His voice was a lot stronger. "Are you okay? You weren't near the house, but are you alright?"

"I'm fine, but I really think we need to get you- "

Reid cut her off. "No." After another glance around, he continued. "They're dead. Six of them are dead… because of me." His voice was steady, almost calm, but his eyes gave away his distress.

"What? Spence, this isn't your fault."

"Jennifer, I made the call to move in. It's my fault they're dead."

Before JJ could convince him otherwise, Reid simply walked away.


	15. Chapter 15

JJ was concerned, to say the least. The explosion in Reno was nearly eighteen hours ago, and Spence wasn't at this morning's briefing, nor was he answering his phone.

The team had just went over what happened in Nevada, and made a harrowing discovery… Everett Lynch didn't die in that explosion. While the rest of the team came up with a plan of action, including putting Rossi's wife under a protective detail, Prentiss sent JJ to go find Reid.

As soon as the words were out of Prentiss's mouth, JJ ran towards the elevators with her car keys in hand. Standing in the metal box, JJ allowed herself to think over the past eighteen hours.

_"Jennifer, I made the call to move in. It's my fault they're dead."_

_Before JJ could convince him otherwise, Reid simply walked away. She watched as he headed for the SWAT Commander, assuming he was going to take the blame (for something that wasn't even his fault) and check on the rest of the officers._

_Taking in the rest of the scene, JJ spotted her cell phone lying on the ground, about a hundred feet away. She jogged over to it, remembering that Rossi had been on the line. _

_JJ picked up the device and dialed Rossi's number. He picked up on the first ring._

_"JJ, are you guys okay?"_

_JJ closed her eyes as she answered. "Six SWAT officers are dead._

_She heard Rossi's sharp intake of breath. He paused before asking, "How are you and Reid?"_

_"I'm fine, but Spence was pretty close to the explosion. It knocked him down and I think he might have hit his head." As she was speaking, a line of firetrucks and ambulances surrounded the scene. They immediately jumped out and got to work. "Medics just got here, but I doubt Spence will even get checked out. He's blaming himself for the SWAT officers. "_

_"This isn't on him. We had no idea this would happen until it was too late."_

_JJ nodded even though she knew Rossi couldn't see her._

_"Try and have him get medical attention. We're on our way over with local authorities."_

_"I will. See you soon."_

_The only way to describe the next hour, was complete chaos. It seemed as though every law enforcement officer and rescue official in the city of Reno was at that house. JJ kept telling Reid that he needed to get checked by medics, but he would simply reply with "I'm fine", and then find something else to focus on. He never did get medical attention._

_After several more hours, the BAU was able to board the jet for their flight back to Quantico. They all told Reid to take the couch and try to get some rest. He did take the couch, but he never got any sleep._

_Every time JJ would steal a glance in Reid's direction, he was sitting up, seemingly lost in thought. JJ was worried about him, both his mental and physical state. She wished he would have let the medics check him out, but she knew his mind was stuck on something else. She desperately wanted to reach out to him, to tell him he was not to blame… but Spence had his own way of dealing with things. Right now, he needed his space, and JJ would respect that. _

_Once the team landed and dealt with the paperwork back at the bureau, Prentiss told them to go home and get much needed sleep. _

_Reid made a bee-line for the door. JJ quickly caught up with him. "Spence, let me drive you home."_

_"No, thank you." He barely met her eyes._

_"Spence, p-"_

_"Jennifer, I'm fine." His words came out harsh, and JJ recoiled a bit. He seemed to notice that, and his eyes softened. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. I do appreciate your offer, but I really am fine. Please, don't worry about me."_

_JJ, still somewhat unconvinced, gave a small smile. "Of course I'm going to worry about you… but, okay. Spence, none of this was your fault. There was no way you could have known about what was going to happen."_

_Reid looked down at the floor. "JJ-"_

_"I know you don't believe me right now, but I needed you to hear that."_

_Reid reached out and pulled JJ into a brief, but tight, hug. "I think I still need some time to process what happened, but thank you."_

_The pair parted ways in the parking garage, and JJ headed home for the night. _

Now, JJ was on her way to Reid's apartment, going slightly over the speed limit. She quickly found a spot to park, then ran up the steps to Reid's floor. She prayed she was overreacting, but had a sinking feeling that wasn't the case.

That feeling only grew when she knocked and didn't get a response. It only took a few seconds for JJ to pull Reid's spare key from her pocket. "Spence, it's JJ! I'm coming in!"

JJ's heart stopped when she opened the door. Spence was sprawled out on the floor, unconscious. JJ dropped to his side. "Spence! Can you hear me?" Placing her fingers against his neck, she found a slow pulse. "Just hang on." The agent found her phone and dialed 911. As she relayed what she knew to the operator, Reid started seizing. "Oh my God, Spence!" She silently prayed that she hadn't been too late.

**A/N: Hey! Thanks for reading. I'm not too pleased with this chapter, but the next one is where we get to see some changes between our dynamic duo. Thanks for sticking with me!**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Hey! I hope you guys like this chapter. I won't be able to post a new chapter next week because I am going to the beach, but I will start on the next one when I get back. I'm taking my laptop, but it will only be for work purposes. I don't want to be on it any more than I have to. Anyway, I hope everyone is staying safe, and please let me know what you think about this chapter!**

JJ held Reid's hand all the way to the hospital. He remained unconscious the whole time, but JJ never let go.

She was scared out of her mind, and praying that she hadn't been too late… that he would be okay.

As the EMTs rolled Spence into the ER, the doctor immediately started her exam. While doing do, she directed her questions at JJ. "Can you tell me what happened?"

JJ was still holding onto Reid's arm as she spoke. "Um… there was an explosion yesterday. He hit his head, but he never got any medical attention… he kept saying he was fine."

"How long has he been unconscious?"

"I- I don't know." JJ's voice broke. She could feel tears forming just thinking about Spence lying on the ground, with no help, for God only knew how long.

"Are you family?"

"Sort of.. Well, not technically."

"Let's get him up to the CCU." The doctor addressed her staff before turning back to JJ. "I need to take him for several tests." She held up her hand when JJ went to follow. "I'm sorry, but you're going to have to stay here. I'll have someone get you when you can see him. If you can, I need you to get his next of kin here as soon as possible."

JJ could only nod, before watching the medical team wheel Spence beyond her view. She wasn't sure how long she stood there, just staring at the closed double doors, before she sprung into action.

Her first call was to the team. She informed them on what had happened, and asked Garcia to get her the number to Brookfield.

Garcia completed her assigned task within a matter of seconds, before saying she would be right to the hospital.

JJ's next call was to Brookfield about Diana. She explained the situation, and they said Diana would be transported to the hospital. After she hung up, JJ sunk down in a chair positioned out in the waiting room. Only then did she let the tears fall. She just sat there and sobbed as the world around her started to fade.

A nurse approached the broken agent, asking if she needed anything… if there was anything she could do.

JJ couldn't respond because the only thing she needed in that moment was assurance that her best friend would be okay… and that was something that the young nurse couldn't give her.

_Her best friend_. That phrase stopped her train of thoughts. _Best friend…_ no. Spence was so much more than that. That was it. JJ made a promise to herself right then and there. If Spence pulled through, she was going to tell him how she really felt… that she wanted a life with him, and he if wanted that too, then she was ready to take the next step.

"PEACHES!"

JJ's head snapped up at the sound of the one and only Penelope Garcia.

Garcia ran as fast as she could in her glittery, pink high heels, and enveloped JJ in a hug. "How is boy wonder?"

"I haven't heard anything yet."

About thirty minutes later, they _did _hear something. Reid had swelling in his brain. Diana, after arriving at the hospital, was consulted by the doctor. She needed to make a decision on whether or not to operate.

Also about that time, JJ got a text from Prentiss. Something was about to go down with Lynch, and they needed JJ out in the field.

She was already typing out her reply that she couldn't leave, when Garcia snatched the phone out of her hand. "Penelope!"

"Don't 'Penelope' me, missy. You have to go."

"No-"

"Yes, you do. The team needs you. Reid is in good hands. There is nothing you can do here, but if you go, maybe you help get the one responsible for Reid being here in the first place. Seriously JJ, go."

With all the reluctance in the world, JJ nodded at her friend. "Okay, but you text me the minute you hear _anything."_

"I promise. Just be safe."

With that, JJ cast one more look at the double doors, before going to join the team… leaving a piece of her heart in that hospital.

CMCM

JJ could not have been more surprised by the turn of events that took place that evening.

Lynch had been caught. Well, more accurately, Lynch had been blown up.

Rossi had been shot, but fortunately, he was going to be okay.

And what was more surprising then either of those things…. JJ had blown up the jet. It was really the only thing that could have been done. Lynch was about to take off with the jet, so the team had started firing at the fuel tanks. One thing led to another, and JJ shot the jet with a flare gun.

As soon as she could get there, JJ was back at the hospital… and in for another surprise. Spence was awake. The swelling had gone down, and there was no need for surgery.

JJ couldn't help the megawatt smile that appeared on her face when she saw Reid's beautiful brown eyes. "Spence!"

"JJ, hey." Reid returned the smile as JJ made her way over to the side of his bed.

Diana had already been transported back to Brookfield, and Garcia stepped out to give the two friends a minute.

"How're you feeling?"

Spence chuckled. "I've been better, but I'm okay. What about you? I heard you had to take out one of our own."

JJ laughed at his reference to the jet. "Yeah, definitely not what I had planned for tonight."

After a few minutes of small talk, JJ took hold of Reid's hand. "Spence… can we talk?"

Smirking, Reid replied "We are talking."

"No, I mean… Spence, we've kind of been dancing around this for a while, but I've realized that I want to spend my life with you. I'm ready to take a chance on us if you are." JJ held eye contact the whole time she was speaking, but then quickly dropped it as she finished pouring her heart out.

Spence didn't say anything for a moment, but then he squeezed her hand. When she finally looked back up, his eyes were filled with hope and wonder.

"Jennifer… That is all I have wanted to hear for so long. Are you sure about this? This isn't heat of the moment, is it? I don't want you jumping into to something because you thought I was about to die."

"Spence…" Instead of saying anything else, JJ leaned forward and brushed her lips against his softly, just enough to leave them both wanting more. "I am completely sure."

Reid broke out into a smile before placing his free hand on the back of JJ's neck, drawing her to him once more.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Hey guys! I am so sorry that it has been so long, but I should be able to update more consistently (twice per month) until the end of this story. I'm not going to lie, I lost inspiration for this story for a while, and I am ready to finish it. I WILL finish it, probably within five or so more chapters, but I promise I will always finish my fics. **

**Thank you for sticking with me during my crazy writing process, and please let me know what you think!**

Reid was kept in the hospital for two more days for observation, but was doing exceptionally well considering his injuries.

JJ would have liked to stay with him during that time, but she had to get home to Henry and Michael. She did come to pick him up on the day of his release.

The doctor didn't want Reid by himself the first night home, so JJ said he could stay with her and the boys.

At first, Reid declined. "I'm fine JJ. I can stay at my apartment, and I don't need supervision."

"Spence, you heard what the doctor said. I'm not taking no for an answer. I know recovering from a head injury, with two young boys around, probably isn't the most ideal situation, but I will make sure they don't bug you too much."

Reid was about to protest again, but thinking about it, it really would be nice to spend some time with JJ and the kids. He knew that at some point, JJ and him would have to talk about what transpired after he first woke up, so maybe this would be a good opportunity. "Okay, I will stay at your place, but it's not because I need taken care of… it's because some quality time with you, Henry, and Michael sounds nice."

JJ smirked, knowing she had won him over. "Okay. I'll take you to your apartment, so you can grab whatever you need, then we'll head to the house. The boys are with Kate, so I'll pick them up."

The two went to Reid's apartment and JJ used her key to get them in, seeing as how Spence didn't have his on him. After following Spence through the doorway, she stopped dead in her tracks. All she could picture was finding Spence on the floor, unconscious, the last time she was there.

It only took Reid a few seconds to notice something was wrong. He turned around to face the blonde. "JJ?" After he didn't get a response, he took a step towards her and touched her shoulder. "Hey, are you still with me?"

JJ's head snapped up. "Yeah… yeah, sorry. I just…" She didn't have to say anything else.

Reid knew what she was remembering. He wished that it hadn't been JJ who found him like that. He knew something like that could be traumatic, after all, he still had nightmares about finding her in that parking garage months before. "Hey, it's okay." He gently wrapped his arms around her small frame. "I'm right here, I'm okay."

JJ softly smiled, enjoying the feeling of being in his arms. "It just… that scared me, seeing you like that."

"I know, but everything is okay now. Let's focus on the right here and now." He dropped a loving kiss on her head before releasing her.

The pair shared a sweet smile, before Reid started grabbing the few things he would need for JJ's. "Um, JJ, can we talk?"

JJ was a little surprised. She knew what Reid wanted to talk about, but she didn't think he would be the one to initiate the conversation. "Of course."

Spence motioned to the couch, and they both took a seat. "Look, I know you said the other day, that… well that when you kissed me, it wasn't just heat of the moment… that you really did mean it. You said you wanted to start a relationship with me… but I also know that adrenaline was running high right then… and-"

"Spence, you're rambling."

He smirked. "Sorry. I guess what I'm trying to say, now that the adrenaline has wore off, and you've had time to think about it- about us, do you still feel the same?"

JJ took him by the hand. "Spence, there is nothing I could want more, than to spend my life with you and the boys. Yes, I spent a lot of time wondering if this was the right time, if this is what is good for the boys, but now I know, without a shadow of a doubt, I can answer yes to all that. Spence, I love you, with all my heart."

"I love you too, Jennifer.. And I'm ready for this. I don't really know where we go from here, but I'll be happy as long as I have you, Henry, and Michael."

JJ's eyes filled with tears. She knew how much Spence loved her boys, and that made her love _him_ even more.

Reid wiped away the few tears that fell from JJ's eyes, as she leaned in and softly kissed him on the lips. He knew, in that moment, he couldn't be any happier. He was in love with his best friend, but after fifteen years, he was finally able to express it.

The two agents simply sat on the couch for a while, just taking comfort in each other. Both were finally at peace.

After a while, Reid grabbed the few things he would need for JJ's, and they headed back out to the SUV.

When they got to JJ's house, she let him in before walking over to Kate's to get the boys. They were excited to see their Uncle Spence, so JJ had to tell them to tone it down. They had to be easy with Spence because he just got out of the hospital.

Spence didn't care. By the end of the evening, he was playing down on the floor with the kids, while JJ was fixing dinner. It was something he really could get used to, and he smiled to himself thinking this was his new reality.

**Thanks for reading! Also, if you guys have any story prompts (whether for this one or something totally different) please don't hesitate to let me know. I mainly prefer writing the characters JJ, Reid, Hotch (Criminal Minds), Street, Chris (SWAT), or Maggie and OA (FBI), but I am flexible. I also love crossovers, so if you can think of anything, shoot me a PM or drop it in a review. **


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Hey! So I have decided to end this story with this chapter. That wasn't originally the plan, as I had thought about going to twenty-five, but I do have a plan for a sequel. If you guys would like for me to go through with that, please drop it in the comments. If that's the case, I will start on it as soon as I can, but it might not be for a while. I would like to take time before that to focus on my other multi-chapter, 'New Beginnings,' and some one-shots that I have in mind.**

**Anyways, thank you all for reading this story, and for leaving reviews.. I hope to continue this in a part two.**

Reid had been staying with JJ and the kids for several days. He was almost recovered, but him going home was something that neither of the four wanted.

The BAU was given a week off in order to recuperate from recent events. It had been a hell of a year, so everyone needed some down-time.

This gave JJ and Reid plenty of time to spend together with the boys. Cars in the living room floor, soccer in the backyard and story time before bed were all regular occurrences. They fell into the routine of a family.

And it wasn't just time with the boys. JJ and Reid enjoyed some alone-time whenever they could fit it in. That would usually result in them being curled on the couch together, glass of wine (well, tea for Reid) in hand, after the boys went to bed. They would steal some kisses, maybe go a little heavy on the make-out session, but they never took it too far.

Both were nervous to initiate that next step, and they knew they had to be careful with Henry and Michael around. And it was okay with them that they hadn't taken it further. They knew it would happen, so they were happy to see how things progressed and not rush anything.

One thing, however, that did bother Reid was they hadn't been on an official date yet… and he vowed to himself that he was going to make it happen as soon as possible.

On that Friday morning, Reid put his plan into motion. Henry and Michael were upstairs getting dressed for the day, and JJ was at the kitchen counter getting breakfast started.

Reid approached the blonde, wrapping his arms around her waist from behind. He dropped a soft kiss on her shoulder.

"Good morning, Spence." JJ let out a content sounding sigh, and it made Reid smile.

"Good morning, beautiful." This wasn't a side of himself Reid was used to showing, but he found that he rather enjoyed being able to. "What are your plans for tonight?"

"Well, the boys are going to Will's for the weekend, so I guess I don't have any plans."

Reid spun JJ around to face him, keeping his arms wrapped around her. "Would you do me the honor of going on a date with me?"

JJ grinned before bringing her hand up to his cheek. "I would love that, Spence."

Reid leaned in to her touch as his heart swelled.

CMCM

Reid went home to his apartment that afternoon so that he could secure reservations at a restaurant, and change into some nice clothes for the evening. To him, it also made it feel like a proper date being able to go and pick JJ up.

He wanted to take JJ out to a really nice restaurant, so he told her to dress semi-formally. He stuck with black pants, a light blue dress shirt, and a black tie. He was looking forward to taking JJ out, but he was a little nervous. He couldn't help but feel like he didn't deserve this, and the fact that it was actually happening was overwhelming to him.

Reid knew he shouldn't be nervous, after all, it was JJ. His best friend, the person that knew him better than anyone else, the person that he loved more than anything else.

Checking himself in the mirror, he took a deep breath and left for JJ's. Arriving promptly at the arranged time of seven o'clock, Reid walked up the steps and rung JJ's doorbell.

When JJ answered the door, Reid's breath caught in his throat. She looked absolutely stunning. She was wearing a navy blue dress that came halfway to her knees. It was sleeveless and tied around her slim waist. Her blonde hair was framing her face in light waves, and she was wearing a simple pair of black heels. Reid loved the fact that JJ wasn't wearing much make up, as it highlighted her natural beauty.

JJ was smiling up at him, and it took him a minute to realize he hadn't spoken yet. "Hi, um, hey… you look beautiful."

JJ blushed. "Thank you, Spence. You look very handsome."

It was Reid's turn to blush as JJ leaned up and kissed him on the cheek. "Th-thank you. Are you ready to go?"

"Yeah." JJ grabbed her clutch, and took Reid's outstretched hand.

CMCM

Sitting across from JJ at dinner, Reid couldn't help but think he was the luckiest man in the world. "Jennifer, can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"Why me?"

JJ looked puzzled. "What do you mean?"

"I mean why are you here with me? Why are you interested in me?"

JJ's confused expression turned to one of surprise. "Why wouldn't I be? I love you, Spence. I always have."

"I know you do. I just, I guess I don't know why you love _me_. You are so beautiful, and the most amazing person I know."

"Oh, Spence. I couldn't possibly list all the reasons why I am in love with you, but for starters, you are so incredibly sweet, and kind. You are handsome, loving, and you treat my boys just as your own. You care so deeply for the people around you, and you make me feel special. You are my best friend. Those are just some of the many reasons why I want to spend my life with you."

Reid was speechless. He couldn't explain the depth of his emotions right in that moment, so instead he expressed them by leaning over the table and capturing JJ's lips in a breath-stealing kiss. "I love you, Jennifer, so much. Thank you for that."

CMCM

After dinner, Reid surprised JJ by taking her dancing. Neither could remember feeling so carefree before in their lives. They were finally able to express how they truly felt after a decade and a half of loving each other… so when they got back inside JJ's house, it was inevitable taking their relationship to the next level.

After a particularly intense kiss, looking into each other's eyes, they knew what was about to happen. JJ gave Reid a sweet smile, and he returned it before scooping her up into his arms.

Some might have called it too soon, but to JJ and Reid, it was fifteen years overdue.


End file.
